


Keep the Bed Warm

by Dawnlight6



Series: All the King's Horses [2]
Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2018-09-26 04:57:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9863864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dawnlight6/pseuds/Dawnlight6
Summary: Set during the events of Chapter 12 of my earlier fanfic All the King’s Horses. See notes for a more detailed summary.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Warning - Spoilers Ahead!**
> 
> This story links into my earlier fanfic _All the King's Horses_ and consequently contains major spoilers. For anyone who hasn't read the earlier fanfic and would like to, I strongly recommend doing that first.
> 
> **Author's Note:**
> 
> I started this by accident. I began writing it towards the end of 2014, by which point _All the King's Horses_ had already been finished for a couple of years. I never really planned to add anything further to that universe, or to Haruka and Michiru's story in that fanfic, but … When I re-read the original fanfic back then in 2014, I found myself thinking a lot about that period of time when Haruka and Michiru first move back in together in Tokyo after coming back from the final battle with Metalia.
> 
> I'd always imagined that in that initial phase, those first few weeks and months, there'd still be some stuff for our couple to work through. But I didn't write it into _All the King's Horses_ because I liked the idea of leaving it up to the readers to imagine exactly what that healing process looked like. I still kind of like that idea, and I've pondered a lot on whether any of what I've written here is really useful or necessary material to add to what I've already done.
> 
> In many ways, it's probably not necessary. But I found I still kept writing it anyway. It was kind of deliciously addictive and self-indulgent, though also probably the most difficult and troublesome fanfic I've ever worked on. I was hoping to finish the whole thing before posting it, but since it was taking so long I decided to change my mind and post what I have now. I am really not certain it is any good. It might be terrible. It's taken so long it's kind of hard for me to judge with any accuracy. But hopefully those of you who read it will get something out of it; I did my best (and I wanted) to have it keep the feel of the original story.
> 
> **Title Note:**
> 
> The title comes from the line "And you and I will keep the bed warm", which appears in some versions of the song _Lavender's Blue_. Folk singer Jackie Oates's beautiful take on this song was something of an inspiration for this fic, with her verse choices emphasising a romantic interpretation about two people who love each other very deeply and who want to live and work side by side until they die, and then be buried together in one grave in death so they'll never be apart. It very much put me in mind of Haruka and Michiru and the way they feel about their lives and each other.

_Tokyo, June 30, 2002_

They landed late at night, deeper shadows hidden beneath an indigo sky.

It had been a tense journey back from Adara; Uranus borne on a litter as she still wasn't strong enough to fly. The rest of the soldiers had taken turns carrying her in pairs of two whilst those currently unencumbered circled in tight formation, wary of attack.

But nothing had challenged them. They'd made it back to Earth unmolested, and Moon and Mercury and Jupiter had veered off when they reached the skies above Tokyo to check in with Mars and Venus and the cats.

By unspoken agreement, they left Neptune, Pluto and Saturn to see their injured fellow Outer soldier home. Unlikely as it seemed, Uranus had actually managed to fall asleep at some point, but she started awake as Neptune and Pluto placed her litter down, as gently as possible, on the generous balcony of her high-rise apartment.

Voice weak with exhaustion, Uranus said, "there's a key to the door under the pot plant."

"That's not very secure," Pluto chided, searching underneath the relevant potted palm as Neptune and Saturn helped Uranus to stand.

Uranus laughed with an edge of pride as Pluto straightened up and unlocked the sliding glass door. "This balcony is much too high for any normal person to make it up here."

"Wait there for a minute while I turn on the lights."

There was a slight delay as Pluto explored the unfamiliar interior of Haruka's bedroom, and by the time the lights went on inside all four soldiers had de-transformed.

Michiru could feel how stiff Haruka was as they stepped over the threshold. The tightness of the grip of her hand and the slight shortness of her breath was the only indication she hurt, but Michiru knew those small concessions alone hinted that her pain was greater, far greater, than probably either Hotaru or Setsuna guessed.

Looking towards Setsuna, Michiru saw a strange expression flit across her face before being quickly smoothed away. Automatically she followed her gaze, wondering what she had seen, and immediately felt a blush creep over her cheeks.

Oh. Oh that.

Now all four of them were staring at the unmade bed with its tangled sheets and dented pillows; a far too obvious clue as to what had happened here just a few weeks ago. It had completely slipped Michiru's mind, but of course the apartment would have been left like this, given that Haruka had gone rushing off to Adara right after Michiru did.

"Setsuna," said Hotaru, her voice a little higher than normal, "let's go downstairs and make some tea." She ducked out from under Haruka's arm, leaving her to lean more heavily on Michiru.

With a glimmer of amusement in her eyes, Setsuna followed Hotaru downstairs, leaving Haruka and Michiru alone in the bedroom.

"Help me sit down?" Haruka asked. She tried to keep her voice normal but she gasped a little, and she was far too pale for Michiru's liking.

They hobbled over to the bed together, and apparently beyond caring about its less than clean state Haruka not only sat but lay down and stretched, her spine popping, sinking into the mattress with a sigh.

"Well," she said, frowning up at the ceiling. "So much for that secret."

" _Was_ it a secret?" Michiru asked, perching beside her on the edge of the mattress.

"No. Not really. We've told them we're a couple again. Obviously. But they don't really need to know we did _that_ on the night we spent here together."

"I think everyone probably guessed already."

Haruka rolled onto her side, burying her face in her pillow with a groan. "I'm so tired."

"You should get up and let me change the sheets."

"Tomorrow. Tell Setsuna she can take the corvette if she wants to. This time of night there's no other way for her and Hotaru to get home."

Michiru was about to renew her protests about the sheets, but between one breath and the next Haruka had fallen asleep again, blonde hair spilling into her eyes. With a shake of her head Michiru let her be, taking off her shoes and socks before pulling the covers over her. She closed and locked the balcony door, turned out the lights and went to find Setsuna and Hotaru downstairs.

They were sitting at Haruka's kitchen table, quietly murmuring over the pot of tea that Hotaru had apparently been serious about making.

"Haruka?" asked Setsuna, pouring out another cup of tea at Michiru's nod.

"Asleep already. She's exhausted." Michiru took the tea with a frown. "Maybe we should have stayed on at Adara until she was stronger."

"It's already been a month. She'll finish healing better at home."

"I hope so."

"Would you like us to stay the night? We can."

"No, that's okay. Go home and get some rest, both of you. Haruka said you could take the corvette, Setsuna. The keys are over there. You know which ones they are, right?" Michiru indicated the neatly arranged key rack hanging above the kitchen bench.

"These ones?" Setsuna checked, naturally picking the correct set of keys.

"Yes, those." It had been three years since Michiru had laid eyes on Haruka's extensive sets of car keys, but she found she still had no trouble telling them apart. There were a few she didn't recognise – new purchases, obviously – but the corvette had been with Haruka for a long time, and both she and Setsuna knew its keys well.

"Okay. We'll call you tomorrow and see how you're doing."

"Not too early," Michiru pleaded as she saw them to the door. "And…Thank you both. For everything."

With her voice and her eyes she let them know that she meant it, though she knew they knew it anyway. They were family, after all.

Hotaru gave her a sudden, impulsive hug. "You don't have to thank us, Michiru. We love you. And Haruka. Even if you are both monumental pains sometimes."

"Hotaru…" For a moment, Michiru fought to keep back ridiculously sentimental tears and stared at her adoptive daughter fiercely. "As soon as Haruka gets your room fixed up…" Michiru didn't finish what she'd been about to say, realising that this was technically still Haruka's space and she probably shouldn't yet be making invitations on Haruka's behalf.

Setsuna smiled at her softly and broke the awkwardness, saying smoothly, "I'm sure we'll see you both soon. Now we'd best go, Hotaru." She shifted her eyes to the younger girl. "It's three in the morning and I'm sure Michiru would like to get some sleep. And—" Something slightly threatening entered her tone, "don't think I don't know how behind you are in school because of all this. Tomorrow morning, we're going to sit down and make up a list of all the exams you missed while we were away on Adara, and you're going to take make-up tests for every single one of them."

Hotaru's protesting groan was the last thing Michiru heard before she closed the door.

* * *

Michiru stood in the lounge room for a while, just listening to the silence of Haruka's apartment. Her apartment now too, she supposed, though that thought still sat in her mind strangely, like a rivet slightly askew.

She gazed at the mangled grey sofa, remembering what had caused its destruction; the golden blast from Haruka's sword and the pain that had flared in her chest, intense enough to knock her out. Her scarred chest and Haruka's tainted sword. Between them, they'd nearly ended the world.

And now, after so long, it was still strange to Michiru that she no longer had the wound; that she could move freely without discomfort. She trailed her fingers down her chest meditatively and drew in a breath as deep as she could. Her body was as supple and strong as it had ever been, healed when Haruka had given everything back to her, ignoring her own grievous wounds at the time.

There was a control panel for the apartment's air conditioning on the wall. A low thrum started up obediently when Michiru switched it on, both to get some of the staleness out of the air and to try and cool the apartment down before the hot, sticky summer morning arrived.

Everywhere here were strange echoes of what had come before. More burns, another summer, the same enemy as before. Except that this time the enemy had been defeated and Michiru wasn't confined to solitary hell in a hospital bed, waiting for words she knew she was never going to hear.

Wandering into the kitchen, Michiru opened the fridge, making a face at its rotting contents. It would need to be cleaned out as soon as possible. And there were other more difficult matters needing attention too; a million neglected decisions to be made about their civilian lives. Michiru would have to decide whether she was going to continue as the lead violinist of the Tokyo Orchestra, given Haruka's condition. They'd have to figure out what to tell Haruka's agent. At some point, the public would have to know they were back together. Their break-up had been big news at the time, and their reconciliation would probably be even more so.

Right now, all of it felt too tiring to deal with.

Michiru made her way upstairs, turning out the lights as she went. She opened the door to Haruka's room and listened to her breathing, the familiar sound tugging painfully at her heart. If she thought about it, she could probably pinpoint the exact number of nights she'd been close enough to Haruka to hear her breathe since she got back from Vienna. It didn't seem fair that on almost every one of those nights Haruka's breaths had been jagged with pain, but at least Michiru could be with her this time. At least Haruka wanted her there.

Three years without Haruka was an eternity Michiru did not intend to repeat.

Shaking herself, she entered the bedroom and padded across the carpet, rifling shamelessly through Haruka's drawers until she found something she could sleep in. She was still wearing the same civilian outfit she had left in a month ago, deciding against the monkish temple robes she and the others had donned most of the time they were on Adara. Michiru had wanted to return home looking like herself.

In the bathroom, she turned on the shower and stood under the spray for a long time. Exhaustion, amazement and soaring happiness competed confusingly in her brain. All of this was going to take some getting used to. Honestly, when Michiru left this planet, she hadn't expected to come back alive, let alone in Haruka's company, let alone with the right to sleep in her bed again.

The last time she'd been in this apartment, Haruka had rejected her forcefully enough that even Michiru was convinced there was no coming back from it. She hadn't expected Haruka to follow her to her final battle. She hadn't expected to be saved.

Now she had everything she wanted, everything she'd hardly even dared to dream of when she first came back to Tokyo, and she was incredibly, indescribably happy about that, but it didn't mean she wasn't still nervous as hell.

Broadly, Michiru understood where she and Haruka were at. They'd acknowledged they still loved each other. They'd decided to live together again. But they hadn't really discussed much beyond that. Getting Haruka better had dominated most of their time on Adara, and it wasn't like they'd had much privacy anyway between the healers and their fellow senshi.

Now all kinds of thoughts were whirling through Michiru's mind, and she knew she couldn't afford to screw this up and scare Haruka off again. Before, she'd moved too quickly, seducing Haruka long before she was even ready to admit she still had feelings. And the fallout from that had been pretty ugly. True, it had also ultimately given Michiru what she wanted, but not without nearly claiming both their lives first.

With a sigh, she turned off the faucet. Wryly, she thought, _well I suppose sex is one less complication I need to worry about this time round_. Right now, it hurt Haruka every time Michiru touched her.

When Michiru went back into the bedroom, Haruka hadn't even moved. She was so still anxiety slammed through Michiru's heart for a few tense moments, until she forced herself to listen for the sound of Haruka's breaths, still strong and steady in the night. Her beloved sky senshi was still breathing; everything was fine.

Michiru got into bed with her, sliding between sheets still dirty from their hasty lovemaking a month before. The blinds cast striped blue and grey shadows across their bodies, lying so close together beneath the wrinkled covers.

For a while Michiru watched, still not certain coming back this soon had been a good idea. Unlike the others, she'd seen Haruka naked and knew that even after a month her injuries were less than half healed. The scars were like flames wrapped around Haruka's body, like long red tongues running all over her ravaged shiny skin. Two of the worst burns were still black and dead to Michiru's touch.

Even though Adaran medicine was more advanced than their own, none of their treatments had been enough to quite stop the pain that sometimes ripped through Haruka mercilessly. Night after night in the narrow bed not really meant for two Michiru had held her hand and heard her gasping, not able to offer any greater comfort than a brush of lips across her forehead or a murmured reassurance she was there.

She worried that without the Adarans' help things would get even worse now they were back on Earth, but Haruka had been desperate to come home and Michiru had understood too well how difficult it was for her to be injured and vulnerable on a strange planet, even with the other senshi there.

Of course, that didn't mean Michiru had given in easily. "What if you have a setback?" she'd said. "What if you get an infection? What if you need the Silver Crystal and it drains Usagi too much for her to use it?"

Haruka had smiled at her grimly as a corpse. "Don't worry. These injuries aren't as bad as last time. If I recovered from that, I'll recover from this too. And don't," she added, voice falling to a whisper as she stroked a long stray strand of aqua hair with wondering softness in her eyes, "don't you dare feel guilty about any of it. The price was worth it, to save your life."

"Haruka." Michiru tasted her name in the dark as she would Haruka's skin, slowly, softly, lovingly.

Without even twitching, Haruka slept on. Michiru reached out a hand to her and let it hover before finally drawing back, not wanting to disturb her and maybe not brave enough just yet to touch her in this bed again.

It wasn't long before her own exhaustion overcame her and she slept too, the sound of Haruka's breathing beside her the only lullaby she needed.

* * *

Michiru awoke suddenly the next morning at ten o'clock, vaguely panicked without being able to say why. The blinds were still closed, the room dim. The space beside her was empty. As stupid as it was, it made the anxiety in her gut coil tighter. The last time she'd woken up alone like this things hadn't gone well for either of them.

Haruka wandered back into the bedroom just then, and from the way she paused for a moment, surprise freezing her limbs, Michiru knew she had to have seen the panic in her eyes.

"Bathroom," she grunted, rolling her shoulders and acting like she hadn't noticed anything amiss. "God, I'm stiff. Travelling across the galaxy on a stretcher is even worse than flying in aeroplanes."

Relaxing, Michiru allowed herself a small smile. "Want me to run a shower for you?"

There was only the slightest hesitation before Haruka nodded. "Please. If you wouldn't mind." She watched Michiru get out of bed with a strange expression on her face, like she couldn't quite believe this was happening.

Pausing by her, Michiru clasped her hand. "Did you sleep well last night?"

"Yeah. I did. Sorry I collapsed as soon as we got here. I was really out of it. Did Setsuna and Hotaru leave okay?"

"They did. Setsuna took the corvette."

"Michiru…" Haruka huffed in frustration, frowning, and angled her dark teal eyes down to meet Michiru's. "I'm going to be pretty useless for the next couple of months, if not longer. I…After everything that's happened, it's worked out really unfair for you. This situation can't have been what you had in mind when you wanted to get back together with me. If it gets too much…"

"I wanted to be with you, and now I'm with you," Michiru said instantly, using her free hand to brush Haruka's cheek. "Do you really think I'd let anyone else be at your side right now?"

Mingled happiness and regret flickered across Haruka's face. "But last time, I wasn't there for you. And I made sure no one else was either. I don't deserve—"

"Haruka. Nothing productive will come of going down that road. Not for either of us. Just…Don't. I've forgiven you. You've forgiven me. It's enough."

Nearly shaking with the nearness of her presence, Michiru couldn't resist a kiss, keeping it chaste and gentle with aching inches separating her from the woman she wanted.

"Hey," said Haruka huskily, breaking away. "We agreed that stuff was off limits until I'm better."

"I can't even kiss you? That's mean, Haruka."

Unbelievably, Haruka laughed, the squall of worry clearing from her eyes. "You can kiss me," she allowed. She drew closer and whispered into Michiru's ear, and oh, she knew exactly what her voice did to Michiru when she used that low, throaty tone. "All the time. As much as you like."

"You!" Despite the very real hitch in her breath and the shiver she knew Haruka saw, Michiru was nearly laughing too for sheer happiness and relief, because Haruka was flirting with her like they were teenagers again and the warmth in her eyes was really there and that almost certainly meant they were going to be okay and they would get through this somehow, just like they did everything else.

* * *

"It's really strange you being here," Haruka mused quietly, eyes following Michiru as she turned the shower on.

The Adaran healers had given them strict instructions on the daily pattern to be followed until Haruka healed – a brief shower to cleanse her skin, followed by liberal applications of healing ointment and fresh bandages over her injuries.

"Not in a bad way," she added hastily as Michiru flicked her a questioning gaze. "It's just…There was this part of me that was always thinking about you and imagining you here with me. And then I'd catch myself and be so angry about it…"

"I feel a little strange about being here," Michiru admitted as she helped Haruka undress, privately worrying over the fact that the long journey seemed to have left her burns looking more aggravated than they'd been on Adara. "It doesn't quite seem real yet."

Michiru's communicator distracted her as it suddenly went off and she reluctantly moved away to answer it, leaving Haruka to test the temperature of the water and step under the spray.

"Hey Michiru." It was Hotaru. "Setsuna and I thought we'd go grocery shopping for the two of you. Would it be okay if we came over in a bit?"

After exchanging a quick affirmative glance with Haruka, Michiru relayed, "that would be much appreciated."

"How's Haruka?"

"I'm fine Firefly," Haruka called. "I'm taking a shower."

"Setsuna, they're having a shower together."

"Hey, I'm not _with_ Haruka in the shower," Michiru defended herself.

"Well thank heavens for that," came Setsuna's slightly blurred reply. "We certainly don't want to expose Hotaru to immoral influences."

Hotaru gave a bark of laughter. "Is there anything in particular you want from the grocery store?"

"Just get everything you can think of," said Haruka. "I doubt there's much left here that's edible."

"There isn't," Michiru agreed. "I checked last night."

"Okay. We'll be over soon. Bye."

The call clicked off.

"Hey Michiru?"

"Mmm?"

"Why _aren't_ you in the shower with me?"

"I already had one last night."

"Join me anyway," Haruka invited, reaching out to tug on Michiru's arm and leaving her sleeve wet. "Let me see you."

She didn't need to ask twice.

* * *

There were a lot of chores to get through at Haruka's apartment, and Setsuna and Hotaru ended up staying until late that evening. By offering a high enough fee, Setsuna found someone willing to come round right away and remove the wrecked couch as well as the detritus from Hotaru's bedroom. She and Michiru later discovered a fancy catalogue of Italian furniture in a drawer and ordered another sofa to match the one that got smashed and let Hotaru choose a new bedroom suite for herself.

Haruka spent most of the day slipping in and out of naps on the not-wrecked couch, her colour at least somewhat better than it had been the night before.

Thoughtfully, Setsuna had also brought some of Michiru's things over – her violin, her sheet music, a couple of suitcases of clothes. Taking everything upstairs with Setsuna's help and placing her possessions in Haruka's room, Michiru thought, shocked, _I really am starting to have my life back_. It seemed impossible. She couldn't believe that she'd actually succeeded and won back her honour and her family and Haruka and saved the world.

At about four o'clock she found herself just standing at the bottom of the stairs and watching Haruka, Setsuna and Hotaru playing cards in the living room, the ordinary sight bringing a lump to her throat. The last three years might never have happened.

Glancing up at her with softness in her eyes, Haruka noticed. "Michiru, come join us."

Setsuna and Haruka were already taking up most of the couch, so Michiru found a cushion and joined Hotaru on the floor, soon feeling the gentle touch of Haruka's fingers sliding into her hair.

"Shall we deal you in?" Haruka asked with a smile.

"Sure."

They were playing poker. As usual, Setsuna won.

* * *

The four of them had dinner together, which Hotaru and Setsuna insisted on making. They didn't move into the kitchen, both because there weren't enough chairs and because formal dining was probably beyond what Haruka could manage, given her body's restricted degree of movement. All of them could tell she was starting to tire, but slowed their pace to hers rather than draw attention to the fact that they noticed.

Even though Setsuna had driven the corvette over, intending to give it back, Haruka told her wryly she might as well keep it for a while.

"All my cars," she lamented. "They'll get so neglected while I can't drive them."

Pressing her hand discreetly, Michiru offered, "I'll take you out in your cars, Haruka. Any time."

"Really?" said Haruka, perking up. "You haven't forgotten…"

Michiru giggled, her voice lightly flirtatious. "I know how to handle your cars. I haven't forgotten."

"Setsuna," Hotaru said behind her hand, speaking in a stage whisper, "I don't think Michiru is talking about cars anymore."

"It might explain why Haruka always liked driving so much, though," Setsuna deadpanned.

"Oi, stop teasing us!" Haruka grouched, a flush creeping up her neck.

Hotaru sat back happily, observing Haruka and Michiru with a rather starry-eyed smile. "I missed you guys being together so much," she sighed. "Haruka-papa, I swear, if you ever break up with Michiru-mama again—"

"Not going to happen," said Haruka tightly. "Believe me," she added in a quiet tone, her eyes wandering over to Michiru. "Even I'm not that much of an idiot."

Michiru smiled at her, rather liking that nearly reverent look. It reminded her of how Haruka used to look at her long ago when they first got together; like it was beyond the bounds of what she could comprehend that Michiru was actually choosing to be with her.

"Moving on to other things…" Setsuna began. "Michiru, I hate to be a pain, but your agent has left about a million messages for you on the house phone. And the poor conductor of your orchestra keeps calling and begging you to come back to rehearsals. I know you've only just got back; I know it's probably the last thing you want to think about, but…"

"It's okay, Setsuna. I'll call them both tomorrow and give them Haruka's number and tell them I've moved. And…Well, I don't really know what I'm going to do yet, but at least I'll talk to them."

"I suppose I should call my people too," said Haruka reluctantly. "My work won't be happy. I had a busy season of driving lined up. In this condition, though, it's just not possible."

"Have you thought about what to tell them?" asked Michiru.

"Light plane crash? Stranded on a burning ship and lost at sea? It doesn't really matter. The excuses we give almost always work. We know it's probably part of the magic that helps to conceal our identities."

"Do ships even get lost at sea anymore?" Michiru wondered.

"Hmm, maybe not. Not often, anyway. All right. Light plane crash in a strange country and this whole past month I was unconscious in hospital and no one knew who I was. The pilot survived but was found wandering with amnesia and didn't remember what happened."

"People are not going to believe that," said Hotaru flatly. "It sounds like a mash-up of every terrible movie ever made."

"They will believe it, Hotaru." Haruka almost said it with a sigh. "Remember how many crazy lies we had to tell about you? Weren't those always believed?"

Setsuna added, "if that's what you're going with, Haruka, I can create the appropriate online records to back it up – news reports, medical evidence – the usual."

"Thanks, Setsuna. And yeah, I might as well go with it. It's still less outlandish than the truth, anyway."

Dinner was long finished by now, and Hotaru helped Michiru clear up and stack the dishwasher while Setsuna and Haruka thrashed out the finer details of Haruka's miraculous story of survival. Once that was out of the way, Setsuna and Hotaru decided they'd better be heading home, and this time, both Michiru and Haruka saw their guests to the door.

Once they were alone, Haruka drew her hand down Michiru's arm in a soft, thoughtful caress. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being here with me."

Lacing her fingers into Haruka's, Michiru smiled, tight bands of bliss constricting her heart. "It's all I want, Haruka. I'm not going anywhere."

Haruka gave a low laugh, and waggled her eyebrows. "Well that's good, because I was planning on asking if you wanted to go to bed. The sheets even got washed today."

"I know. I cleaned them!"

Voice dropping as she pulled Michiru towards the stairs, Haruka whispered, "so come with me, then. I want your scent back in my bed." Realising her choice of words, she quickly rephrased, "I mean our bed. Ours."

Michiru met Haruka's eyes; her words falling into an unsteady cadence as she replied. "To be honest, Haruka, any bed is fine as long as we're together. I…I always hated the nights without you."

"I hated being alone, too," Haruka admitted, regret flickering across her face before she gave a small smile, wordlessly apologizing for the past.

A short time later, the apartment was dark and quiet. Haruka slept with her hand still in Michiru's, and Michiru watched as she had the previous night until her eyes wouldn't stay open any longer.


	2. Chapter 2

It was the silence that was terrible. Worse than the pain. Worse than wondering if she'd be twisted and helpless and covered in scars forever. Worse even than the inability to move. She didn't look; she never looked towards that other hospital bed with its aqua haired occupant who lay nearly as helpless as her with tears leaking from her eyes and bleak horror crouched on her face like a demon. And then there were those nights…Haruka didn't remember clearly because she'd still been so out of it then…But she thought she remembered, more than once, Michiru slowly, painfully, rising from her bed to drag herself to Haruka's side.

"Haruka," she'd whisper, reaching out a trembling hand while the other clutched at the barely healed wound on her chest, "please just talk to me. Say something. Answer me. _Answer me_."

Sometimes as she dreamed in her hard hospital bed Haruka did, her unconscious urging her towards a reconciliation her waking mind would never allow. There was some stubborn part of her that even now, after everything, insisted that nothing else would matter if she could just touch Michiru again, and she would start awake with her heart full of confusion, suddenly unsure which reality she was living in until she felt the weight of the silence again and remembered and bit her tongue until the inside of her mouth was wet with blood…

Just circles and circles of never-ending nightmares; even now they persisted as Haruka fought off the past and struggled out of sleep to swim into consciousness in her stark, impersonal room. She'd had hundreds of mornings just like this one – waking in wild-eyed confusion to gaze around a space in which she'd never permitted reminders of her life before, nor the imagining of any future but her solitary duty and death.

It was only as she heard Michiru's steady breaths beside her that Haruka remembered and felt her own frantic heartbeats slow to the rhythm of her partner. The nightmare couldn't follow her into the waking world anymore. She'd finally left it behind in the crumbling halls of Metalia's palace, and Michiru…

Michiru was alive – god she was alive; she hadn't died covered in blood on that cursed alien planet with her flesh parted by Haruka's sword. She didn't have the scar anymore. She wasn't in pain. She was here, she was actually _here_ in Haruka's bed, and by a grace she didn't deserve, Haruka hadn't lost her.

Of course, Haruka was aware that this was only the most tentative of beginnings. She saw the watchfulness in Michiru's eyes, and she saw how uncertain she was. Michiru uncertain was not what Haruka was used to, especially when it came to their relationship, and it wasn't what she wanted, but she could hardly be surprised at it, given everything that had come before.

If Haruka thought it would help, she would have happily grovelled for forgiveness at Michiru's feet, but Michiru had made it pretty clear she wasn't interested in holding on to her grievances.

No. All Haruka could do to mend things for now was to love her. Show Michiru she was loved over and over again; prove to her that what had happened at the Battle of the Hill was never going to happen again.

And with that thought, Haruka ran, inevitably, right up against the reality of her nearly useless body. The pain wasn't as bad today, it had come down to a dull, constant ache, but she was so stiff it was hard to move, and unless she was slow and careful, she could feel the unpleasant sensation of her damaged skin stretching and tearing beneath her bandages.

Experimentally, she edged onto her side, heartened when her limbs seemed to loosen a little. She leaned across further to where Michiru was so easily, so wonderfully within reach, still asleep, her hair tumbled in a wild mass of curls seemingly intent on taking over a good portion of the bed.

This was probably going to cause Haruka a fair amount of discomfort, if not pain, but she decided she didn't care. Both times she'd slept here now Michiru had woken up in this bed alone, and god how Haruka wanted to change that, to give her a morning of waking up being kissed, being touched, being loved, in some place that wasn't yet home but might be.

What Haruka was doing now was only what she should have done on that other morning a month ago, instead of running terrified from the bed to scrub the feel of Michiru from her body, as if by doing so she could erase the longings of her heart.

Her hand drifted to Michiru's hip, half caressing and half brazenly possessive, as her lips trailed light, teasing kisses down the side of Michiru's face, down the elegant line of her neck, across a bare, pale shoulder.

Michiru made a noise low in her throat, still half asleep, fingers blindly groping towards Haruka and tangling into her hair.

"Good morning, Haruka," she murmured, the smile in her voice progressing to her lips as Haruka kissed her.

"Good morning," Haruka said huskily. She drew back to look at Michiru with hooded eyes, sliding closer, half on top of her, not failing to notice Michiru's gasp or the way colour flooded into her cheeks.

"Okay?" Haruka checked, searching for any sign she wasn't welcome.

"F-for me, yes, but for you?"

"I'll be okay."

A little awkwardly, Haruka moved her body the rest of the way on top of her. It was a movement that was sensual rather than sexual in intent, it couldn't be anything else, and even so, just from this, Haruka couldn't stop a grunt of discomfort as she tried to get settled. Doubt sprang into Michiru's eyes and she looked like she was considering asking Haruka whether they should stop, but something in Haruka's expression, some need she saw there, and maybe her own need too, kept the words unsaid.

Curving her lips into a soft smile of reassurance, Haruka touched Michiru, fingers straying into her hair. She was using her right arm which still hadn't fully healed and because of that the gesture was clumsy, but Michiru shivered anyway and drew in a sharp breath, her own arms going around Haruka's waist to embrace her gently.

Since the night they'd spent together, this was the first time they'd had contact like this, since they'd been able to lie body to body just feeling each other. These were the things Haruka had never even let herself think of since the breakup; how much she still missed Michiru's touch, her scent, the softness of her skin.

How just being with her could make any burden bearable.

"Sleep all right?" said Haruka, dipping her head for another kiss.

"Mmm. Fine. You?"

Despite herself, a discontented sigh escaped Haruka's lips. "Sleeping is the only activity I can currently do with any competence."

"That's not a bad thing, love. The more you sleep, the faster you'll heal."

The phrase slipped out so easily and naturally Haruka doubted Michiru had even noticed she'd said it, but it still made her eyes sting. After everything, after so much pain and broken trust, it should have been impossible, yet it was also the most natural thing in the world, to be lying here like this exchanging endearments in bed, warmed by each other's arms.

Drawing back a little, she met Michiru's eyes again, watching ever-changing oceans that never quite stilled, and whispered, "it's been a long time since I've heard you call me that."

"It's been a long time since you wanted me to," Michiru pointed out, more in sadness than accusation.

"I know. I was such an idiot."

There was a short silence, and then Michiru sighed and looked away. "I'm sorry, Haruka. I really…I promised myself I wasn't going to constantly remind you of things like that. It's not productive."

Burying her head in Michiru's chest, Haruka said hoarsely, "it's fine, Michiru. You can punish me as much as you want. I deserve it."

She felt Michiru's hand beneath her chin, forcing her to look up. "God, Haruka," Michiru said, her eyes darkening with distress. "I don't want you hurting. I don't want either of us hurting. It's not going to make me feel better to put you through more pain than you're already in."

Haruka looked away from her in embarrassment. "Yes, you're right. That was…A fucked up thing to say. Sorry."

Drawing her attention back with a gentle touch that somehow managed to make all of Haruka's unhealthy thoughts evaporate, Michiru whispered, her expression growing wistful, "the only thing I'd ask of you, Haruka, is to hear you say that you love me."

"I love you," Haruka breathed, her lips nearly meeting Michiru's. Her chest throbbed with emotion to be able to say those words again, finally, to be able to look into Michiru's eyes and see a flare of intensity as deep as her own in answer. The words just kept tumbling out of her, three years' worth of bitter silence broken in the muted glare of the sun coming through the blinds, with the dull roar of traffic growing ever louder outside.

"I love you so much, Michiru. It drives me mad that I can't show you – that I can barely touch you. I wish I could…Drive you all over town and take you out to dinner at the best restaurants and buy you expensive gifts and _woo_ you to win you back properly, but instead I'm clinging to you in the dead of night just praying you won't let go of my hand.

"Your courage, your strength, I can't…" Haruka's voice wobbled. "I don't know how I made myself forget how it feels to be with you. How it just feels so _right_. How it feels like…Every battle is finally over."

As Haruka stroked her cheek, Michiru shuddered, eyes raw and vulnerable. "Keep holding me," she pleaded, tangling her hands into the fabric of Haruka's shirt. "All those other things; we'll do them, Haruka, and I…There's nothing I'd love more than to do them all with you, but _this_ was what hurt. Not having you. Not having these moments when it's just the two of us…"

By this time, both of them were breathing faster than normal. Haruka's burns were starting to ache more insistently – most of them were on the front of her body, and this position wasn't doing her any favours. She pushed the pain away though and shot Michiru a sultry look, tangling a hand into her hair and combing her fingers through the silk-fine curls.

"Do you know," she murmured, "I've been wanting to do this for months; ever since I first saw you transform again in my car. Your hair is so long now, so wild, like a mermaid's. That night when we were together…I don't think I've ever seen you look more beautiful."

A low moan broke from Michiru and she arched up into Haruka, harder than Haruka was prepared for. Harder than she could handle. She gave a cry, not the happy kind, and Michiru immediately froze beneath her before quickly sinking back down into the mattress.

Worriedly searching Haruka's face, she said, "are you okay? I can't believe I—I shouldn't have forgotten, Haruka. I'm sorry."

"Well, the point was to _make_ you forget, so I guess I succeeded there." With an ironic smile and a regretful look, Haruka eased off Michiru to lay beside her. As much as she wished they could have continued, she'd already pushed her body past its meagre limits.

Michiru sat up and looked down at her, still a little flushed despite her evident anxiety at Haruka's condition. Without noticing she was doing it, Haruka started twisting her hands in the bedsheets until Michiru leaned down to place a gentle kiss on her lips.

Voice playful, she murmured, "How is it you always know just what to do to take my breath away?"

Haruka gave her a shadow of her usual cocky grin. "Natural talent, I guess."

She closed her eyes with a sigh as Michiru started to caress her; feather light, soothing touches that half made her want to go back to sleep.

"About the orchestra…" Michiru paused. "I've decided to ask for a leave of absence on compassionate grounds."

"What?" Haruka's eyes flew open and she half sat up in agitation; a move she deeply regretted as pain flared sharply in her side.

"Haruka!"

Sucking in a harsh breath and fighting for control, Haruka said unsteadily, "I'm okay. Could you just…Put a couple of pillows against the headboard? Please?"

Michiru nodded and soon had a comfortable pile of pillows arranged. Haruka slumped back against them and took Michiru's hand, giving her a level look.

"I don't want you giving up your music because of this. Because of me. No matter what kind of state I'm in."

Michiru's expression grew quietly stubborn. "A leave of absence is hardly forever. And Haruka—I know you hate this, but you can't be on your own."

"So send Setsuna and Usagi round to babysit me."

"You think it would be all right to ask them to put their lives on hold while I go out and live mine?"

"No," said Haruka reluctantly. "I guess not. But I don't want you putting your life on hold either."

"My life isn't on hold, Haruka. I'm living it here with you."

The softness in Michiru's eyes warmed Haruka and made her feel guilty all at once. Truthfully, she wanted Michiru here too much to fight very hard, and they both knew that.

With a slight nod, Michiru recognised the surrender, though she at least spared Haruka the humiliation of having to voice her defeat.

Drawing closer, Michiru sealed Haruka's mouth with a light kiss before finally getting out of bed. "Now," she said, "what shall I make us for breakfast?"

* * *

Michiru's agent oscillated between anger and relief during their long, turbulent phone call later that morning. Michiru had disappeared for a month, after all, with no word or warning, and Haruka's co-current absence hadn't been missed. Apparently the two most popular theories, fuelled by the odd speculative photo that had turned up of Haruka and Michiru around Tokyo together, were that they'd fallen into a passionate affair and run away to a remote tropical clime, or that Haruka had done something dreadful to Michiru and consequently fled the country before her crime could be uncovered.

"I just don't understand, Michiru," her agent said, "why you couldn't even call. It's totally irresponsible and unprofessional! To disappear for weeks with no message! What the hell were you doing?"

"I was searching for Haruka," Michiru said, elaborating on the story of the light plane crash. "She disappeared in a remote country…As it turned out, she was in a bad accident, and I've been looking after her since then. I still am. That's why I can't return to the orchestra just yet."

"Haruka? Then the two of you—"

"Can we please not go into it now? All I need is a leave of absence."

Eventually, her agent agreed not because she wanted to but because Michiru simply refused to give up any ground. The call did not end on a cordial note.

At least things went better with the conductor. She agreed easily to Michiru's request for a break, being unfailingly polite, almost apologetic, as if she feared Michiru's absence was somehow her fault. Michiru assured her she would love to return when she was able.

After clicking off the call, Michiru sat for a moment. Even though the conductor had been understanding, she wasn't naïve enough to think there wouldn't be some kind of professional fallout from this, at least in the short term. Disappearing, not honouring contracts – the music world would be full of gossip, and with this Michiru had just given them new ammunition.

On the other hand, she ruefully considered, once she and Haruka did decide how to officially break the news of their renewed relationship, she'd probably experience a spike in popularity again. Not for the right reasons at all, but one in her position perhaps couldn't be too choosey.

"Did it go okay?"

Haruka's voice came from somewhere behind her, sounding like she was standing on the stairs.

"As well as could be expected." Michiru stood and placed the phone back in its cradle. "What about you? Has Ami written a doctor's certificate for you yet?"

"Not yet. I need to call her and ask her to send it off for me. And then…I'll call my work. Should be interesting."

Haruka shot Michiru a glimmering smile, making light of the situation though Michiru doubted she was as casual as she appeared.

Shaking her head, Michiru smiled back. She got up and walked over to Haruka, placing a hand on her arm. "After we've redone your bandages, I'd like to go out for a bit while you make your calls. Will you be okay by yourself?"

"Of course," said Haruka, dipping her head and kissing Michiru's temple. "Go out and do what you need to; I'll be fine."

For a moment, Michiru closed her eyes and savoured the feel of Haruka near her, so old and familiar, still so new and remarkable.

"I won't be long," she promised.

* * *

Outside, it was hot and sticky, the pavements shimmering in the distance like a mirage.

Michiru wandered up the street, glancing idly into shop windows, buying an ice tea along the way, stepping into a library for the relief of air conditioning when the sun started to bother her too much.

She made her way to the astronomy section, picking out a book on the solar system and flipping through words and graphs and calculations and hazy, mysterious photographs that tried to make sense of something she knew so much more intimately. Today Neptune might be nothing more than a dead hunk of rock in the sky, freezing forever in solitude, but its legacy lived on inside her, in the visions that came with her dreams, in the power of the sea that roared at her fingertips.

For a time, Michiru had lost that; she'd lost her pride and her purpose and she thought she'd never get it back again. Thought Haruka would never love her again.

Haruka. Haruka…

Michiru's hands shook slightly as she remembered that morning, waking up to find a Haruka who was so loving, so passionate, so _gentle_.

Even on Adara, things hadn't really been like that – not most of the time – Haruka was too unwell, or there were too many healers, too many friends, people always in and out of the room they shared.

Haruka letting Michiru hear the desire in her voice, touching her like she was wondrous, _wanting_ her. God, Haruka wanting her. Openly. Kissing Michiru in the sunlight and willingly sharing a bed with her.

The astronomy book was clasped tight to Michiru's chest as she hugged it, eyes burning fiercely. Part of her wanted to break down and cry, right there in the library.

Forcing air into her half-crushed lungs, she closed the book carefully and placed it back on the shelf. Her fingertips lingered on the spine as she drowned in an ocean of memories; the long ago soldiers whose love had kindled in the dark reaches of outer space; the lost teenagers who'd found each other again a lifetime later and sought solace in each other's arms from the burden of a mission they could hardly bear; the terrible rift that grew between them as adults when their methods for doing their duty so briefly parted ways.

Michiru wasn't going to find answers to the future hidden in the past. She and Haruka were charting a strange new land, drawing a map as they went. And she didn't think that either of them entirely knew how to deal with that.

It wasn't what they were used to. It wasn't how things had been before.

With a sigh, Michiru dropped her hand.

When she got back to the apartment, she found that Haruka had fallen asleep again.

* * *

Haruka awoke in the sticky heat of the afternoon, her mouth dry, her body aching. There was a glass of water waiting for her on the bedside table which she gulped down thirstily, glancing at the empty half of the bed still rumpled from where Michiru had slept the night before.

The blinds across the glass door leading onto the balcony were still shut, making the room seem dim, unreal. This morning…God, this morning. The way Michiru had looked when she'd asked Haruka to keep holding her, her eyes filled with longing deep as the ocean.

It was the fulfillment of every secret desire Haruka had never let herself feel since she'd shut Michiru out of her life, since she'd buried her hurt and her guilt beneath a whirlwind of anger. Finally knowing again the peace, the completion she could never find with anyone else; touching Michiru; her warmth, her wildness, her strength, and feeling the pull of her in the depths of her own spirit…

Just then, the sound of Michiru's violin began to echo through the apartment. Her playing was free, passionate, filled with emotion – the talent that had captured the hearts of audiences all over the world. _This_ was the music Haruka remembered, not those crippled notes that had limped out of the speakers of her CD player only months ago.

This was Michiru's power, and she played as she had probably never played since her wounding. Jubilant and triumphant, her music soared into every corner of the apartment, broke through the windows and flew into the sky; reached a quivering crescendo before dropping into a softer, crooning melody that nearly brought tears to Haruka's eyes.

She managed to get out of bed and make her limping way downstairs; drawn both by the music and her desire to be as close to Michiru as possible.

After the throbbing echo of the final note died away, Michiru sighed and lowered her instrument, eyes shining. "Oh Haruka," she whispered, voice catching. "I can finally play again…"

Haruka's heart swelled at how Michiru looked; she was as beautiful as ever and so full of joy to have the music back that had always been a part of her. And she was hers, Haruka thought with a fierce possessive pride. All hers, as she always should be.

"Don't feel you have to stop," she said, letting go of the stair rail she'd still been holding onto for support and taking a couple of steps into the lounge room.

Michiru gave her a playful smile. "Ah, but now you're awake, perhaps there are other things to do?"

Reaching the couch and settling onto it carefully, unable to quite suppress a grimace as some of her more tender parts were jostled, Haruka laughed ruefully. "What did you have in mind? Some sexy hand-holding? The bandages might get in the way, but I'm game if you are."

After carefully placing her violin back in its case, Michiru joined Haruka on the couch, and, rather to Haruka's surprise, took Haruka's nearest hand and kissed it.

"You don't have bandages on your hands," Michiru pointed out matter-of-factly. "And since you ask, some sexy hand-holding sounds delightful."

She laced their fingers together and drew her thumb over Haruka's in a slow caress. Haruka drew in a sharp breath, jolts going through her.

"That's…That's good," she said unsteadily. "I never stopped missing…The way it feels when you touch me."

"I never stopped missing you either," Michiru whispered, dipping her head to kiss Haruka's hands. "Every night…God, every night I wanted you. I could never get you out of my head."

Haruka found she was shaking; both at the sensuous feel of Michiru's fingers still sliding across hers, and the longing she could hear in Michiru's voice that made her wish for the millionth time her body wasn't all but useless.

She drew Michiru back up and kissed her, hungry and frustrated and all too aware of her own inadequacies, while tears began to trickle out from beneath her lashes. She couldn't even say why she was crying; she just knew that she couldn't do anything else with Michiru next to her like this, so close she could feel her breaths, taste her skin, touch the warmth of her body.

"Haruka?" said Michiru, frowning and caressing her gently.

"It's nothing," Haruka assured her. "I'm just…Thankful, I guess, that you're here. That we both are."

Michiru's eyes softened, filled with a tenderness that took Haruka's breath away. She shifted closer, snuggling into Haruka but being extremely careful, deftly avoiding the worst of Haruka's burns still hidden beneath her bandages. Haruka embraced her as best she could, placing her hands on the cool expensive silk of Michiru's blouse but feeling the pulsing heat of her skin through the sheer, delicate fabric.

"I'm glad too," Michiru murmured. "I feel like…My life has finally started again."

They lapsed into silence for a while. Haruka half dozed, more contented than she could remember being in a very long time, despite her physical discomforts. With Michiru beside her, Haruka's heart felt full and warm and whole, healed in spite of her own stubborn insistence on clinging to her despair.

"How did things go with your work?" Michiru inquired eventually. "Did you call them?"

"Yeah, I called them. They're not very happy with me, but I think it'll be fine. It's not like they can do much about the situation. They could throw me off the team, but they won't. I'm too talented. So it was mostly empty threats and bluster. What about you? How was your walk?"

"It was fine. I went to the library for a while."

"Oh? Were you looking for something?"

There was a pause before Michiru replied. "You could say I was researching the past, I suppose."

The past. There was so much pain in both their pasts.

"And what about the future?" Haruka deliberately kept her voice neutral, but she knew Michiru would fully understand the intent of the question, and she'd understand too that Haruka asking it meant she guessed something of where Michiru's thoughts had been wandering.

"The future?"

Haruka nodded. "Just tell me one thing, Michiru. One thing you'd like us to do in the future."

"One thing?"

"Just one."

After a moment of thought, an expression of sharp longing passed over Michiru's face. "I'd like you to come and watch one of my concerts. Not from the audience – from backstage. I'd like you to help me get ready in my dressing room before I go on stage, I'd like you to be there afterwards, just – just waiting the way you used to, while everyone comes in and congratulates me and brings me flowers – and just the fact that you're _there_ means you think more highly of me than ten dressing rooms bursting with presents. And afterwards, when everyone's finally gone, if I ask you to you'll touch me…"

The last words were almost a breathy sigh, raising the ghosts of so many memories in Haruka's mind, all the times Michiru had whispered that plea to her in that exact tone of voice, her eyes huge and mysterious as the sea, her naked body twined around Haruka's own.

As tired as she was, as messed up as her body currently was, Haruka still felt her heart beating faster to hear Michiru say so plainly that she wanted her.

"Okay then." Lowering her lips to Michiru's ear, Haruka murmured, "I promise. But I have one request."

"Mmm, and that is?"

"Wear your hair loose."

Michiru arched her brows. "Ah, you'd like that, would you?"

"Yes, I would."

"Well, then, I will." Michiru's tone was still light and teasing, but as she leaned in to kiss Haruka, she whispered, serious and intimate, "for you."

Haruka's breath hitched and she let herself get lost in that glorious kiss; forgetting her burns, her pain, her discomfort. Soon enough, she knew, all the complaints of her body would come crashing down on her again, but for now, she could ignore it for just a little longer, savouring this kiss that tasted of yesterday's tears and tomorrow's promises and the memories of six years' worth of nights spent in each other's arms.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings dear reader,
> 
> This is (at last) the third and final chapter of this little fanfic; I apologise it has taken me the better part of a year to get it finished and posted. For a fanfic that is only 14,000 words, it certainly took me a lot longer to finish than I thought it would! Trust our extra special lesbians to be as extra and difficult as ever. I hope that the ending proves to be everything it should be, and thanks as always to my lovely readers. Writing is honestly one of the things in my life I care about most, and it really means so much to me to have such a great and appreciative readership.

For the next two weeks, there was little change in their routine. Michiru cared for Haruka and Haruka did what she could to still the cravings of her restive spirit that chafed against the restrictions of her weakened body.

Inevitably, they continued to be drawn to one another, unable to stop touching after so long apart. Haruka would drowse with the feel of Michiru’s fingers in her hair, soothing away her pain; they’d kiss in bed during the dark hours of the night or as the smudged grey dawn edged over the horizon. Michiru would explore Haruka’s hands as if she’d never felt them before. With a troubled expression in her eyes, Haruka sometimes brushed her fingers down the centre of Michiru’s chest, tracing where the scar used to be.

Setsuna and Hotaru came by several times. Haruka’s team sent a doctor to confirm Ami’s medical certificate. Somehow the story of Haruka’s supposed crash and Michiru’s pursuit of her was still staying out of the press. Their agents would definitely be owed an appreciative gift.

The new suite for Hotaru’s bedroom arrived, along with a dove-grey sofa that perfectly paralleled the one Haruka had destroyed. Haruka didn’t know what to make of it when she found Michiru stretched out asleep on it mere hours after the delivery. It was the last place she would have expected Michiru to choose for a nap.

Sitting down next to her, Haruka sipped on the horrible herbal tea Setsuna had left behind last visit. The blend was Setsuna’s own concoction, and she’d claimed it would assist Haruka in her recovery, but the taste was so bad Haruka probably would have taken her chances without it if not for the fact that she knew it made Michiru feel a little less worried about her when she drank it.

Outside, the sky had turned the colour of a half-healed bruise, and there was a heaviness in the air that made Haruka’s skin itch. She could smell rain coming. And here they were on these couches again, just like that other night.

It had been ecstasy that night, being with Michiru while the rain poured down; holding her, feeling her, kissing her. Haruka had watched her sleep for such a long time afterwards, heart pounding with emotions she didn’t want to name, everything she wanted to say choking her chest like the weight of dirt on a corpse.

“Haruka…” she heard Michiru say softly.

Haruka glanced down in surprise to find Michiru watching her.

“I wanted to tell you…I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?”

“Mmm.”

Michiru sat up slowly, her body language that of a warrior regaining her poise on the battlefield. “If I really wanted to try and save that girl back then, I should have been more courageous. I should have spoken up earlier. I should have believed our princess could help her, or that we’d pool our knowledge to figure something out.” The look she gave Haruka was direct and unflinching. “I never should have lied to anyone, especially you. I shouldn’t have created a situation where you and Usagi both nearly died. What you endured to save her was utterly horrific. I never wanted you to go through something like that.”

Reaching out to her, Haruka said, quiet but firm, “what I endured was Metalia’s fault, not yours, Michiru. You know I would have done it no matter the circumstances.”

Even after all this time, Haruka had never directly asked Michiru why she did lie. Perhaps she’d always been too afraid of what the answer might be. After everything they’d been through, after years of living together, fighting together, why had Michiru felt like she couldn’t trust her?

And Haruka’s own behaviour afterwards, her refusal to even speak to Michiru, her retreat into her own wounded anger, had hardly created a situation where Michiru could have come to her, even if she wanted to.

“Why did you lie to us, Michiru? To me? We’d always solved everything together. What changed?”

There was the shade of apology and regret in Michiru’s voice. “I never meant to lie, Haruka. I just…Wanted more time to figure out a solution. Tamiko was falling under Metalia’s spell so fast. I was afraid that if the rest of you saw her like that…”

“We’d just kill her.”

Michiru nodded. “So many times, Haruka, we’ve had others show us mercy when we didn’t deserve it. This is perhaps the kindest world we’ve ever known.” She frowned and paused, as if searching for the words for what she wanted to say next. “We’re not living in the Silver Millennium anymore. Years ago, when we were fighting the Death Busters, we were wrong when we tried to act as if we were. I think Usagi and the Inner Senshi understood the importance of doing things differently long before we did.

“In the Silver Millennium, girls like Tamiko, Hotaru, Usagi, even us…No matter how strong we were, sooner or later, that world killed us all. We had immortality, but what good did it do us, when we didn’t have the ability to grow, to change, to challenge our own fate? Being soldiers who don’t think, who don’t grow, who can’t change…I don’t want that. When I fought Metalia, I wasn’t just facing her as Neptune – I was facing her as Michiru too. Without everything I have as Michiru, I couldn’t have defeated her. It would have been the end of the world, just like before. The dynamic between us, Haruka, the way we fight together…I trust you as much as I ever did, and I know you trust me as well, you showed me that…But still, we’re going to have to relearn a lot about each other. And probably learn new things as well. I realised that, when you asked me about the future. I suppose I just keep wondering…If you’ve realised it too.”

She looked at Haruka, and whatever she saw made a self-depreciating smile flicker across her lips for a moment. “Ah, what am I saying?” she said softly. “Of course you have.”

At that, Haruka could only nod. “I was never under the impression you and I would just…Pretend none of this had happened, and go on with no change whatsoever. You’re right. Metalia failed because she didn’t understand that you weren’t the same person you were a thousand years ago, and nor was I. When I followed you to Adara, I wasn’t thinking about the fate of the world. I just…Couldn’t stand the thought of you dying believing that I hated you. As much as I’d tried to convince myself I could go back to who I used to be in the Silver Millennium – that I could just do my duty and worship Usagi from a distance and never have anything of my own – It was all a lie. A lie I told myself over and over again so I wouldn’t have to admit how much I still wanted you. So I wouldn’t have to deal with learning how to get over what happened.”

Haruka’s right arm had healed enough that the bandages had come off a few days ago; she was grateful for that, grateful she could reach over to Michiru and run her fingers through her hair, the movement fluid and easy. “Once I heal, I want to fight by your side again, Michiru. I want to train with you. I want to protect this planet with you. I want to protect everything we’ve built here.”

“Me too, Haruka. I want that too.” Michiru twined her fingers through Haruka’s, the expression in her eyes drawing Haruka deeper as her voice fell to a whisper. “I love you.”

Haruka felt her heart throb, the pain sharper even than the time years ago when she’d used Eudial’s gun to blast the Space Sword right out of her own chest. Michiru had told her before this that she loved her, she’d said it on Adara and Haruka had said it back to her, but it hadn’t been lost on Haruka that Michiru hadn’t said it since they’d been back in Tokyo, back in this apartment where everything had fallen apart.

She leaned closer for a sweet kiss, a mere brushing of lips, but it was soon followed by another that was longer, deeper. Haruka found her mouth growing rough against Michiru’s as a sudden wave of possessiveness swept over her, as vivid imaginings filled her mind of exactly what she’d like to do right now if she could, explore Michiru until she was taut and trembling, slick with sweat and desire and begging for release.

“Uh—Um—Sorry.” As Haruka drew back, she could feel colour scattering over her sharp cheekbones.

“Don’t apologise!”

Despite her kiss-swollen lips, Michiru hadn’t lost her poise – That ability she had to remain collected even in the most aggravating of situations was something Haruka had always envied – and eventually, something Haruka had also learned to take great pleasure in slowly undoing in certain circumstances, even if she was never going to get equal with the number of times Michiru succeeded in flustering her.

Giving Michiru a sidelong glance, Haruka smiled. “Okay. Consider it a promise of future occasions.” She allowed her gaze to deliberately linger, and was gratified to note the slight speeding of Michiru’s breath, the new shade of pink that deepened her already flushed cheeks.

Leaning forward, Haruka kissed Michiru on the forehead and held her close for a moment, telling her again with the gesture, with the gentle touch of her hands, how glad she was Michiru was here with her, how much she wanted to share everything with her.

A low rumble of thunder outside caused them to break apart, their attention drawn towards the sliding glass door that led onto the balcony. Rain clouds were sweeping in to cover the city, lightning flickering deep within the black thunderheads.

“Looks like a storm’s coming,” said Michiru.

“About time,” said Haruka. “The air – all day it’s been restless.”

With a flash of eyes and a quick smile, Michiru tugged Haruka to her feet. Her sudden change in mood surprised Haruka, but then…It had to be a good thing, if Michiru was beginning to relax enough to let Haruka see her playful side. It had been a very long time since Haruka had seen that.

“How about we go watch the storm?”

Feeling her own heart lighten, Haruka grinned. “Of course,” she agreed.

Out on the balcony, Haruka filled her lungs with the wet, fresh air, straight from the sea and tangy with salt. It was still humid, but everything was cooling as the rain began to fall in a loud, heavy downpour, the noise making it almost impossible to carry on a conversation.

After a few futile attempts to speak, Haruka gave up and just pulled Michiru flush against the front of her body, hooking her arms around Michiru’s waist. With her burns gradually healing, it was easier now to do things like this, and they stood and watched the storm together, both of them feeling the pull of its wildness in their blood.

Haruka allowed her lips to drift down Michiru’s neck and onto her shoulder, pausing for a moment before dragging her mouth up again and whispering into Michiru’s ear, “I’m going to hold you tonight and not let go until morning.”

She felt more than heard the sound Michiru made, and happily adjusted her hold as Michiru turned to face her. The sight of Michiru with the storm-swept city behind her was impressive indeed, but Haruka had little time for contemplation before Michiru was pulling her down and kissing her, hard as the driving rain and passionate as the tempest roaring above their heads.

“You’d better, Haruka,” she said breathlessly, and leaned in to kiss her again.

* * *

  _July 30, 2002_

The news that Haruka and Michiru were back together was bound to break eventually, despite the efforts of their agents. When it did, Haruka was glad in a way, as that was finally what spurred Michiru to agree it was time for them to get out of the city.

Haruka had already been suggesting it for a week or two prior to their going, but Ami kept vetoing Haruka’s plans, saying she still wasn’t strong enough for another journey, much to Haruka’s annoyance.

However, once Haruka’s phone started ringing near incessantly and an entire extra security contingent had to be hired by the apartment complex just to keep all the questing reporters under control, Michiru finally agreed they could go, and Ami had not much choice but to agree too, when faced with a united front.

They snuck out before dawn, leaving the pack of sleepy reporters with nothing but snapshots of their taillights and wild speculations as to where they were headed. Traffic was light and they got out of Tokyo quickly, and then soon enough civilization was falling away behind them; trees and mountains springing up eagerly to enfold them in silent wilderness. The purr of the engine, the road whipping away beneath the wheels of the car, the speed, the space, the feel of the wind in her hair…How Haruka had missed all this in her long, painful confinement.

She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, a smile playing across her lips as a contented sigh left her lungs. The action was greeted by a light musical chuckle.

“You look so happy,” she heard Michiru say.

“I am happy,” Haruka agreed, cracking her eyes open again to glance across at her partner. “You’re finally making good on that promise to take me driving.”

Michiru had tied her hair back in a ponytail, but stray aqua strands were still whipping about her face. She tilted her eyebrows at Haruka archly, pointing out, “Well, you’ve hardly been in a fit state before now, have you?”

Haruka had to laugh at that. “But God, it’s been two months, Michiru. A month on Adara and another month cooped up in the apartment in Tokyo. I was about to lose my mind.”

“You were with me the whole time, though. Are you saying you didn’t like it?”

“I’d never say that,” said Haruka, dropping her voice and reaching across to grasp Michiru’s hand for a moment. “I love being with you.”

With a soft answering smile, Michiru said, “I feel the same, Haruka. About you. I’m glad…I’m glad we didn’t lose each other. How are your burns going?”

“Ah, they’re okay.”

It was mostly Haruka’s two biggest burns that were still being troublesome. One covered a section of her left thigh, and the other, the larger of the two, spread across the right side of her back. Previously, they’d been bad enough that Haruka hadn’t had feeling in either of them, and the greatest danger had been that she’d do damage to herself without realising. But not long after the night the storm swept through the city, Haruka’s nerves had finally started to regenerate, and that – That had been hellish. Due to the burns’ locations, it had been nearly impossible to find any position in which she could sit or lie without putting pressure on one of them, and that was without taking into consideration the other injuries slowly fading across her body.

Ami had kept Haruka supplied with pain meds and sedatives, but there was only so much of those she could take safely, and sometimes they weren’t enough. Hopefully the hot springs where Haruka and Michiru were headed would help in her recovery; that was mostly how Haruka had sold the plan to Ami, and it hadn’t been a lie, Haruka did think the mineral rich waters and a change of scene would do her good. But she’d been careful not to mention to Ami how much she was also looking forward to all those naked baths with Michiru.

“Sorry it’s taking me such a long time to get better.”

“Haruka,” said Michiru, the wind carrying the fond incredulity in her tone, “don’t be ridiculous. You were badly hurt. I’m just glad I still have you.”

“I know, Michiru. It’s just, for a while there, it felt like I was getting stronger, and then it all went to hell.”

Pouting, Haruka huddled further into her seat.

“Try to be patient.”

“Yeah, I’m not so good at that. I never was.”

“What if you had something to look forward to?”

“I do. The hot springs…”

“I mean after that, though, once you’re really starting to get better. What about Greece?”

“Greece?”

“Mmm. I’ve toured there, you’ve toured there, but we’ve never been there together. We could stay somewhere by the ocean, perhaps.”

“A holiday,” said Haruka. “I haven’t been on a holiday in…Years.”

“Yes, I know.”

Of course Michiru knew. And she knew why, as well. Holidays weren’t for those who had lost their beating hearts. That had been both of them for far too long.

“Okay, yes, let’s do it, Michiru. Hot springs first, and then Greece once I’m more healed up.”

Michiru glanced away from the road for a moment to meet Haruka’s eyes. “I’ll be looking forward to it,” she said, heat flaring for a moment in her gaze before she turned back to the road and pushed the car to go faster, making the world fly by in a blur of colour as the wind sang happily.

* * *

  _August 12, 2002_

This far from any major city, the night sky was crowded with stars. Up in the mountains, it was cooler than it had been in Tokyo, and the subdued, ever-present rushing and burbling of the waters of the springs created an atmosphere of relaxation and peace.

The hot springs they’d come to had the appearance of being rustic, but it was in fact an exclusive establishment few in Japan could afford. All guests could expect private springs, both indoors and outdoors, discreet staff, and an assurance of being kept out of the way of other patrons. There were a host of other services as well, but it was the quiet and privacy that Haruka and Michiru most valued.

After a day of bathing, massage and meditation, Michiru was feeling wonderfully relaxed and sleepy, content just to sit in their private garden and watch the stars and the steam rising from the outdoor pool that was theirs alone, with high bamboo walls to ensure curious eyes were kept away.

She saw Haruka step out onto the simple wooden verandah, wearing a pair of geta and one of the yukata supplied by the hotel. Michiru was similarly dressed, though she’d opted for one of her own casual kimonos, one that she knew particularly complimented her skin and hair. 

Haruka caught sight of Michiru and smiled. They’d been here about two weeks now, and Haruka’s condition was definitely further improved. The two large burns were regenerating steadily, and the lines of pain around Haruka’s mouth were softening and disappearing. The tension was gone from her back and shoulders. Her skin was beginning to recover some of its suppleness, allowing her to move more easily. The hollows under her eyes and her cheeks were finally starting to become less pronounced.

She was still too thin but she was less ragged – she’d insisted her stylist pay her a home visit before they left Tokyo and cut her hair back into its usual asymmetrical perfection. Michiru was starting to think herself of getting her hair cut back to its old length, but she hadn’t brought that up yet. She knew Haruka had developed a bit of a thing for her hair being this long.

“You’re watching me,” Haruka observed with a grin as she joined Michiru on the bench.

“I was thinking how much better you are,” said Michiru truthfully, slipping her arm around Haruka’s waist.

“I’ve had you to look after me. I couldn’t not get better under those circumstances.”

Haruka gave Michiru a look that was half playful, half tender, and all sincere thankfulness. After a quick kiss, she leaned further into Michiru, giving a contented sigh.

“The stars are beautiful tonight, aren’t they?” she said dreamily.

“Mmm. I was watching them before.”

Michiru tilted her head up again, bringing the vast expanse of the night sky into view, twinkling stars strung across it like streaming banners.

The stars had always been companion to her and Haruka; they belonged in this world of deep ocean blues and frail delicate light – whether they were hunting an enemy or keeping watch or tangled together in bliss, it was the stars more often than the sun that witnessed their truest selves.

“What are you thinking about?” Haruka asked, her voice a low rumble in Michiru’s ear.

“Nothing really. It just strange. I’ve been to the end of the world and back again with you, Haruka, more than once, and the stars…They’re still the same. They haven’t changed. Through all the revolutions, they’ve stayed the same.”

“Maybe it just seems that way,” said Haruka, tipping her head back to see the stars too. “Like us. In some ways we’re the same, but in other ways we’ve changed.”

Michiru felt Haruka’s chest expand as she drew in a breath.

“But not my feelings for you, Michiru. I love you. There will never come a time when that changes.”

By now, Michiru had lost count of how many times Haruka had said she loved her, how many kisses and caresses she’d been given, but it was still enough to make her heart speed, to make her snuggle closer to Haruka in the cool mountain garden.

“I love you too, Haruka,” she whispered.

She felt the warm press of Haruka’s lips against her temple. “I think I’ll head off to bed. Join me soon?”

“I’ll come in with you, but I’d like to play for a bit. Would that disturb you?”

“Of course not. I love hearing you play. You know that.”

The two walked arm in arm through the shadowed garden to the light spilling out from their room. Haruka changed and got into bed as Michiru prepared to play, perhaps receiving nearly as much comfort as Michiru did from the familiar rituals of tightening the bow and dusting it with resin; from the harmonizing of the open chords of the strings as Michiru minutely tuned the instrument, needing no guidance but her inner pitch after so many years.

“Turn the lights off?” Haruka suggested, her voice half muffled by the pillow.

With a murmur of agreement, Michiru switched out the lights, leaving the room filled with soft shadows and the pale glint of moonlight.

The covers of the bed rustled as Haruka moved.

Michiru’s fingers were itching and letting go of conscious thought she played, allowing her feelings to take her where they would. She played the past; a time of long, hard duty alleviated only by Neptune’s stolen moments with Uranus, sparkling like rare diamond stars threaded through the darkness of space. She picked out the whisper of the sea dancing with the wind on a new planet teeming with life, building towards a promise of rapture as the two wild elements met and swayed and remembered they were inextricably bound. She played Haruka being hers in a low, throbbing melody redolent of sweaty skin and heavy-lidded eyes; she played love and warmth and tenderness, and how it felt to step over the threshold of home after years of wandering in the wilderness.

She played the peace of finally being able to fall asleep in Haruka’s arms again, knowing she would wake in the morning and see her smile, knowing she could reach for Haruka, kiss her, touch her, and have Haruka reach back for her, wanting what Michiru offered.

Playing it was making Michiru impatient, making her want these things more, now, but she continued a little longer, bringing the music to a proper close, letting the last notes linger and fade away until the sounds of the garden returned – the soft flow of water and the rustling of the leaves in the breeze.

“Come to bed,” Haruka whispered as Michiru wound down her bow and placed her instrument back in its case.

Michiru murmured an assent, but still she took her time, savouring the feeling of anticipation, and the husky note of want in Haruka’s voice.

As she approached the bed, she realised she had no idea where her nightdress was, decided she didn’t care, dropped the kimono onto a chair and got into bed in her underpants and nothing else.

Immediately Haruka was reaching for her, drawing her closer, deeper into the bed. Her fingers wandered over Michiru’s naked skin in surprise before her touch became softer, more intimate.

“I didn’t get the memo tonight was clothing optional,” she commented, voice teasing.

“Couldn’t be bothered to find my clothes in the dark,” said Michiru, her words hitching as Haruka’s hand brushed over her breast.

Pushing Haruka’s robe aside, Michiru charted the remaining bandages still separating her from her lover’s body. Despite all her improvements, Haruka still wasn’t healed enough, not enough that she was happy with herself, anyway. She’d already reaffirmed to Michiru that she wanted to wait until they could, in her words, do it properly. 

“I did give you the option, you know,” Haruka said, eyes glimmering with amusement in the near darkness. 

“What option?” asked Michiru, wrapping her arms around Haruka’s waist and kissing her bare shoulder, one of the places where her skin was recently healed. 

“The option to leave and come back once I was better.” 

Haruka’s tone was still too teasing for Michiru to think she was genuinely asking if it had been a burden to be with her; they’d finally moved on from that a while ago. Regardless though, Michiru answered seriously. 

“You know what I was playing before, don’t you?” 

“Yes,” Haruka admitted in a low voice after a beat. “You were playing how much you love me. How much you want to be with me.” 

“Exactly.” Michiru readjusted her hold as Haruka’s arms found their way around her. “I am where I want to be. Where I’ve always wanted to be.” 

“In my arms?” There was a playfulness to the question that made Michiru smile. 

“Mmm. And with the opportunity to have you in mine, of course.” 

Haruka laughed, and gave Michiru a kiss. “Well, keep holding me tonight?” 

“Through all the hours of darkness,” Michiru promised softly, stealing another kiss. 

Settling comfortably, Haruka soon grew warm and heavy in Michiru’s arms and dropped off to sleep. 

Her breaths were easier tonight, free from the sharp hitches of pain Michiru had heard on so many other nights, but that wasn’t all that had changed. Michiru remembered that first night in the apartment, how she’d been too tentative to even touch Haruka in bed. Tonight, she’d thought nothing of getting into bed almost naked. She hadn’t expected anything other than to find Haruka reaching for her. She hadn’t expected anything other than Haruka wanting to be held by her too. It was the redemption Michiru had been searching for ever since that cursed battle. The conviction that this life was hers, and that she belonged here. 

“Haruka,” Michiru whispered, not with intent to wake her, just because she wanted to say her name; the only spell of happiness she needed, and drifted off to sleep with Haruka still held in her arms.


End file.
